My perspective on life has shifted since I discovered my lover’s betrayal. On the day before I found out, I was worried about money, home repairs, losing twenty pounds, the economy, helping my daughter pay for graduate school and taking charge of my large and cluttered house. These worries rode on my shoulders like unwanted vultures. How will I have enough to get the house painted and send the boys to camp? Will I have enough money for snow tires and our upcoming vacation during Christmas? What if my place of employment has layoffs due to the economy?
All these concerns vanished in an instant when my life seemed to fall apart. For the first couple weeks I thought I was becoming apathetic as the laundry room became unnavigable through the piles of clothes and soccer cleats.
However, now, three weeks into the perspective shift, I can see how my life can become richer through letting go of these worries. Why worry about anything? Does worrying prevent misfortunes? Certainly not. When the one thing that I was certain about never happening, happened, my tedency to worry about controlling physical reality (got to get the house clean, got to get the yard taken care of before winter, got to make enough money to….) simply disappeared.
And I am finding that to be a good thing.