Yesterday, I reposted ‘Getting Over the Psychopath: Cultivating Indifference’ from the blog ‘Psychopathyawareness: ‘http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/02/09/getting-over-the-psychopath-cultivating-indifference/
For fourteen months, I’d been looking for the ‘silver bullet‘ to fix my pain. The silver bullet is cultivating indifference to the psychopath and recovering the person you were before he crossed your path. This post contains the answers to all my prayers for help in recovering from my relationship with a psychopath. First, I must become indifferent and continue to walk away. True indifference means that I can rise above him. I can recover myself from the wreckage of this relationship. I can move away from revenge; I can move away from forgiveness. I can move to a place where he no longer matters. I can go back to 2007 and pretend I never heard from my ex husband again, after an absence of eighteen years. I can erase the chapter of his betrayal from my life. I can pick up the pieces and move on as if he never came into my life and destroyed it.
Have you ever been moved by something you have read? Does it stay with you?
In Psychopathyawareness, Claudia Moscovici writes, “In Most of the pain experienced by victims of psychopathic seduction comes precisely from the contrast–or vast difference–between the fake image (the luring phase) and the dismal true reality (after the psychopath reveals himself to be an evil human being). You may feel used, betrayed, extremely hurt, yet still, sometimes, in spite of yourself, wish to cling to some of those positive memories as “real.” Unfortunately, even the good times you shared with the psychopath weren’t real in any meaningful sense of the term. They weren’t created with a person who was genuine or who is capable of loving you or anybody else. They were simply part of the ruse.”(‘http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/02/09/getting-over-the-psychopath-cultivating-indifference/)
This paragraph means more to me than any other ever written.
Yes, this is it exactly. I spent months agonizing over the difference between my lover’s fake image and his true reality. I simply could not believe tha the person whom I thought he was could betray me the way that he did. It was like trying to convince myself that the sky was orange and not blue. I believed in him and in his love so completely that when the truth hit me starkly in the face it took the wind out of me for many months. How could he do this to me?
The only explanation was that he was a different person. How could I not have known that he was a different person? How could I have been so fooled, so tricked? This inner dialogue went on for over six months after realizing his betrayal.
But the fact of the matter is that it was all a ruse. He presented himself to be a person he was not. It was a trick. I fell for it. Once he was no longer interested in tricking me, he dropped his mask. The truth was ugly.
Once a psychopath drops his mask, the truth is more than ugly; it is horrifying.
Thank you, Psychopathyawareness, for your help in unraveling this tangle of unreality created by my warped belief in this psychopath,
- Two Great Blogs on Healing from Narcissism/ASPD Relationships (phoenixsphere.wordpress.com)
- The Age of the Psychopath (secondarywounding.wordpress.com)
- Get the Cluster B People Out of Your Life! (Psychopaths, Narcissists, Sociopaths…) (phoenixsphere.wordpress.com)
- The Psychopath’s False Sense of Omnipotence (psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com)
- Antisocial Personality Disorder 101 (phoenixsphere.wordpress.com)
- We are not the same. (psychopathresistance.wordpress.com)
- Using Speech Patterns to Detect Psychopaths (izabael.com)
- Psychopath strategy (psychopathresistance.wordpress.com)