Valentine’s Day- Official Narcissist Holiday


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Valentine’s Day is the perfect day for narcissists. At least, it’s the perfect opportunity for the narcissist who has placed you on a pedestal to drown you in sweet words and gifts because you are so special.

For those of us who are no longer special, it is a day best ignored.

Three years ago, I celebrated Valentine’s Day with my ex husband. It was the first time that we’d spent this holiday together in nearly twenty years. Of course, he showered me with presents. Jewelry, flowers, card and an art project. He made me a mobile out of paper hearts and sweet love quotes which matched a mobile I’d made for him when I was nineteen and he was twenty.  I was floored that he’d remembered this.

It’s in the drawer I’ve stuffed all the presents and junk from him which I wasn’t able to throw out.

Poor me, at age 40, not knowing that it’s actions which make love real and not words, lovemaking, gifts and poetic gestures.

Well, now I know. Once you’ve spent Valentine’s Day being idealized by a narcissist, it’s unlikely that, once he’s dumped you, the holiday will ever be enjoyable again.

I’m going to drop by the art store & pick up a canvas to work on a painting I’ve been thinking of, which has nothing to do with love.

Nothing at all.

Hope all my single and/or brokenhearted friends make it through the day without a tear.

Namaste,

Ixchel

6 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day- Official Narcissist Holiday

  1. Ixchel, I can’t say I completely understand where you are today. It sounds like he left you hanging, the second time around, as well as the first. It’s a painful place, I understand that…especially on a “lover’s” holiday. You are a survivor. Not a wounded/shattered person. Yes, healing needs to take place. Yes, you are probably still trying to put your displaced self back together, the way you remember.. But please remember…YOU SURVIVED! You are still you. You are a beautiful spirit, who helps others who have been there, or are still in hell. You are still (as I am, obviously) going through days full of confusion, to which there are no sufficient answers. Remember what you lived through… remember the pain, and emotional rape he attacked you with… You made it OUT! that’s cause for celebration, and should lift you up. don’t let him win, sweet one. You are the powerful one. Brave enough to be real, while he was not brave at all. He had to put on an act and facad to convince you of whatever fairytale he needed for himself. Hugs to you!!! And peace to your spirit… Me

    • Thanks. Yes, I am putting myself back together. It’s been fifteen months and most days are good now. Getting to the point where I can see making it through a day without thinking about him or the trauma he caused. Ixchel

  2. Pingback: Surviving Valentine’s Day: Post Narcissist/Sociopath « Phoenix Rising

  3. Pingback: Idealization, Devaluation & Discarding- Being Put on a Pedestal and then Dumped by a Narcissist « Phoenix Rising

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