WordPress has a cool feature. When I look at my daily site stats, I can see what search terms readers used to find this site.
What a wonderful question. Can a narcissist do the idealization thing twice?
What have others experienced?
Speaking from my experience with a narcissistic lover who also has Anti Social Personality disorder, the answer is yes. The narcissist can run you through the idealization, devalue and discard cycle twice.
The narcissist in my life ran me through this cycle (like a load of laundry) twice. The first time was when we met. We were were teenagers. Not surprisingly, he discarded me when I was pregnant and the fun had turned into responsibility. This first cycle of idealize/devalue/discard eighteen months.
When he came back into my life twenty years later, he went through the same moves. First, just like he had when we were younger, he idealized me and put me on a pedestal with flowers, poetry, presents and constant attention. This stage lasted about ten months. Next, he devalued me and began sleeping with another woman. During this devaluing stage, all the presents began to dwindle and he began to make devaluing comments about my appearance and wardrobe. This stage lasted about sixteen months.
I believe that he kept me in the devaluing stage longer this time around because he was enjoying having two girlfriends at once, which was a novelty for him.
Finally, he discarded me once he’d decided that he preferred the other woman. And the discard was sudden. I ended the relationship when I found out about her, but during
the last couple months, his behavior had been extremely cold, as if he was trying to force me to end it to save him the trouble.
Others who may have experienced being idealized/devalued/discarded by a narcissistic lover more than once, please share your stories.
- Idealization, Devaluation & Discarding- Being Put on a Pedestal and then Dumped by a Narcissist (phoenixsphere.wordpress.com)
- The Narcissicist’s Seduction: A Card Trick (phoenixsphere.wordpress.com)
- “I LOVE ME!”: A Q&A About Narcissism (psychcentral.com)
- “Fried Green tomatoes…” (lifebegins45.wordpress.com)
- Healing… (lifebegins45.wordpress.com)
- The beginning (lifebegins45.wordpress.com)
- The Narcissist, part deux! (paulettecake.wordpress.com)