When a Psychopath Asks for Forgiveness

Psychopaths Rule Our World

Psychopaths Rule Our World (Photo credit: Adam Crowe)

One of the cool features on Word Press blogs is the very detailed ‘Site Stats’ which will tell you which search engine terms your readers used to find your blog. Yesterday, someone arrived upon this  blog after googling “When a Psychopath Asks for Forgiveness.”

While  I am not an expert in psychopathy, I suggest that anyone seeking information about healing from a relationship with a psychopath should visit Claudia Moscovici’s blog Psychopathy Awareness: http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/.

Another great resource on the topic of psychopathy is an online magazine from the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education: http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/

In addition, you may wish to visit this book list: The Best Books to Understand and Recover From a Psychopath: http://www.flashlightworthybooks.com/Best-Books-Understand-Recover-Psychopath/413

I don’t have any personal experience with psychopaths. My ex husband has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Anti Social Personality Disorder (ASPD). Psychopathy is generally considered a subset of ASPD, so they share many similar behavioral traits. A key difference is that psychopaths may kill you while people with ASPD will probably not.

However, ASPD and Psychopathy share similar traits such as superficial charm, lack of remorse, pathological lying and using lovers as playthings. In this context, I can say from personal experience that forgiving my ex husband was one of the worst moves of my life as it allowed him to come back into my life and create mass damage and destruction. I don’t know what the half lifeof his damage to my life will be

It has been over twenty-five years since he first entered my life and eighteen months since he exited it and the damage meter is still running.

So, in my unprofessional and very personal opinion, no. Don’t forgive the psychopath if it means letting him back into your life again. Anyone with a Cluster  B type personality disorder such as narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy, etc, will only as for your forgiveness if he is intending to use your forgiveness in order to manipulate you.

Remember that if he has lied to you before, then he will lie to you again. If he has cheated on you before, then he will cheat on you again. If he has hurt you before, then he will hurt you again.

Protect yourself. Protect your children.



11 thoughts on “When a Psychopath Asks for Forgiveness

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  8. I think the difference between forgiving and forgetting is key here. Forgiving the psychopath, in the sense of no longer holding a grudge and longing for revenge, is healthy and necessary. But don’t ever forget what they did to you, and don’t give them the chance to do it again.

    I was sexually abused as a kid, by two teenage foster siblings. (One may be a psychopath, the other certainly wasn’t, but both had suffered severe abuse and neglect as well as being deliberately trained to abuse.) Now, I’ve heard some suggestion that one or the other sibling, or maybe even both, are changing their ways. Both are trying to make amends to my parents.

    I hold no grudge against them. If I were in their shoes, I’d probably have abused a child too. But if I meet with them again, it will be in a situation where I have full control and assurances that they will not be able to harm me, and I’ll have to be very sure that they’ve changed. I can forgive them and still have no contact with them for my own safety. There’s no contradiction in that. I just see them as sick, in a way that poses a danger to others.

  9. First, true psychopaths do not ask for forgiveness. They could not care less what anyone thinks about them or what they do. Second, if one does seek forgiveness, beware, it is some sort of trick or trap…you can bank on it.

  10. a psychopath might ask for forgiveness WHEN his psychopathic deeds and ways are discovered after a long haul and he knows THE ONLY WAY to come back to society or the circle is to ASK FOR FORGIVENESS…imagine this, that if no tremendous efforts were used to dig out the sick things that psychopath did, and it was never discovered, DO YOU THINK he would ask for FORGIVENESS?

    of course, this is one instance a psychopath asked for forgiveness.

    and mind you, a psychopath might be diagnosed with a different wiring, BUT the matter is that he had since sold himself to doing sick evil right from the start and HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HE DID. no excuses ot even medical reasons should mitigate.


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