Rebounding From a Relationship with a Pathological Lover

Recovering, or trying to recover, from a relationship with a narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, person with Anti Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) or other Cluster B type personality disorder? Whether or not one is able to rebound and recover after a relationship with a pathological person depends upon the following criteria:

1) The duration of the relationship
2) What the victim suffered during the relationship
3) Whether there was physical, emotional, verbal and/or sexual abuse
4) The diagnosis of the predator (ie: how crazy/fucked up he or she is/was)
5) What the victim lost as a result of the relationship
6) Whether there were court proceedings involved
7) Whether there were minor children involved
8) The financial assets of the victim
9) Support, or lack thereof, for the victim from family and friends
10) Emotional state of the victim
11) Whether or not the victim suffers from mental illness, physical disability
12) The victims history- does he or she come from a traumatic or emotinally stable background
13) The basic temperament of the victim

Are there more criteria which I have left out? Please post your comments.

8 thoughts on “Rebounding From a Relationship with a Pathological Lover

  1. I would add to your list, which is quite good, will the abuser continue to interject himself in the victim’s life in some manner? Regardless of PFA’s, etc., there are ways around the system that they find to harass their victims because of their obsessions. So, although the victim does not want to be around the abuser any longer, they must continually find ways to move if they are always found. These are additional stressors to their situations.

    • You are correct. Whether or not the abuser continues to interject him or herself into the victim’s life is extremely relevant. I was lucky for many reasons. First, there was no physical abuse. Second, he lives 100 miles away. So I just decided to never go to what used to be my hometown again and spare myself the sight of him.



  2. I agree with the comments above. If you can have complete no contact that definately makes a huge difference (for me it has been the biggest difference)

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  5. 6) Whether there were court proceedings involved
    7) Whether there were minor children involved

    IF those lines of above are concerned, what should we do with a abuser? If you want to talk the truth, the fact, what has really been going on during the relationship through the court case, but meanwhile, the child between, if this child is too small to understand the whole situation, but simply desire his father to be connected?

    • Yui, thanks for writing. No, in my recent situation, there were neither court proceedings nor minor children involved. In your case, I would suggest that you bring your children to a skilled and highly recommended child or family therapist and that you hire an excellent attorney. Best of luck! Ixchel

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