Cluster B Relationship Blow Up


Grooved body of a Second World War-era U.S. Mk...

Grooved body of a Second World War-era U.S. Mk 2 grenade. The grooves covering the exterior of the grenade cause it to break into many pieces when it detonates (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Twenty months ago, I discovered that the ‘love of my life’ had been living a secret life. This discovery ended our relationship, which spanned twenty-five years, a marriage and a child.

During the following year, I was able to put the pieces of our lives together in retrospect and realize that my ex has  Narcissistic and Anti Social Personality disorders,which are both Cluster B personality disorders according to the DSM IV.
Initially, to describe my discovering that he’d been tricking me in so many devious ways,  I used the analogy of a grenade blowing up my heart.

Nearly two years later, in reviewing the experience, I think that a better analogy would be that when I discovered his cheating, drug dealing, and complete second life, it was like stepping on a grenade and having my entire body blow up and scatter into pieces.

I am still putting the pieces together. I will never be the person whom I was before he tricked me. I will never be able to trust anyone as much as I trusted him.  I will always be on my guard. But I am getting stronger.

If you are new to this, if your heart is recently broken by a Cluster B-type, then hang in there. It isn’t easy, but you can get through.

I have lived a hard life, full of challenges. I did not need him to come back into my life after an absence of twenty years. I did not need him to catch me in his web of lies. However, he did catch me and I did fall.

I will survive. All of what’s left. I may not be whole, but I can pick up the pieces of my broken being and put them back together and move forward.

Blessings to all who come here! May your sorrows be lessened with each passing moment.

Forgive yourselves; falling prey to a Cluster B is NOT your fault. They are pathological liars and predators.

Namaste,

Ixchel

2 thoughts on “Cluster B Relationship Blow Up

  1. Hard to click the like button, when there’s nothing to like about what happened to you, but I do like/love the reminder that these predators are pathological liars. They’re good at lying. And being guilty of trusting someone isn’t a sin or the fault of the victim. That rests squarely with the narc.

  2. Pingback: The Allure of the Cluster B Mindfuck « Phoenix Rising

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